The pastor I was counseling with in an informal conversational manner said to me, "In Jesus Christ's death and resurrection, you can bury your need to prove yourself." It was that obvious. (I may have blogged how I love "the thrill of the chase," which is related.) But proving what? A batch of dough? What's death, burial, resurrection about anyway? Crucified, dead, and buried. That's Jesus. Or is it also each one of us?
After Mardi Gras and/or Shrove Tuesday, Lent 2026 began on Ash Wednesday—yesterday as I write this. Best guess is a few thousand devotional books have been written to guide one through the forty day long (minus Sundays that are "in but not of Lent.") Preaching and hearing about Jesus post-baptismal temptations in the wilderness on the first Sunday in Lent is a given for churches that follow the lectionary. You know about "giving up" a favorite food or activity, often adding on a service project or something (anything!) that will draw you closer to God and make you a better version of yourself.
But burying my need to prove myself? Burial follows death. Death follows? A serious illness or accident. Maybe old age (Louise was 105!) or simply God's time for you, even if you've been on earth only a few years or a couple of decades. Death follows life, but death of a human body isn't the only kind. I can bury my need to prove myself? That's one aspect of my human body and spirit, but it's not the sum of my life or years.
We're moving toward Good Friday, the day of Jesus' crucifixion and death. You may have heard Holy Saturday described as "the day nothing happens yet everything happens?" And then Easter.
On the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found the stone was rolled away. John 20:1.
I need help here. If something gets buried, it must have died. How can my "need to prove myself" die? Can you tell me? Standard answers include being less of a perfectionist (I'm a moderate one, far from extreme), praying to understand my history of compulsive behaviors, and my excitement whenever I do something well, because excellent performance(!) is a huge part of proving my worth to the world.
What needs to occur before resurrection can happen? Something or someone needs to die. Must be dead. "Dead and buried." That's Jesus, and it's each one of us. Unless something dies it can't be resurrected. What will the resurrected version of my "need to prove myself" look like? I hope to begin spiritual direction soon, probably during Lent. That sounds like a great question to explore.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder. Yes, I need to die to my own agendas (my desire to prove myself as worthy, righteous, enough) so I can be raised up in Christ. So much food for thought here!
ReplyDeleteYour post reminds me of people being torn down so that they can be "rebuilt" (so to speak) for a specific task. I personally love Holy Saturday...it's all quiet; a perfect time to truly reflect on what happened on Good Friday and what's yet to come on Easter Sunday.
ReplyDeleteWhat a comfort to know that I don't have to prove myself to anyone.
ReplyDeleteFMF11
What a beautiful reminder that we don't have to prove anything.We have everything we will ever need in Christ. Enjoying God and worshiping Him forever through our gifts and talents takes the pressure out of performance. I was thinking about this earlier this week as I watched the USA gold medal winner in womens figure skating, skating with no pressure to prove anything or to win anything, just to express her art and enjoy herself. It was such a beautiful reminder of how to live!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful confirmation of my need to die to my own agendas.
ReplyDeleteI guess I don't quite get it. Are you looking to give up the need to make yourself worthy? For lent? We all need to "be worthy" in some manner. Works don't save us, but they do showcase our faith so it's always a bit of a balancing act. And the best way to balance it is the truly acknowledge that any works you do are SOLELY due to God's grace in your life. Perhaps that's where you start. Let your excitement at doing well be firmly laid at the feet of Jesus. That HE is the author and perfector of your faith. Visiting from FMF16
ReplyDelete"What will the resurrected version of my "need to prove myself" look like?"
ReplyDeleteWithout knowing you, personally and intimately, this is a nearly impossible question. So I will answer for myself. Maybe it will apply to you, maybe not.
A resurrected version of my "need to prove myself" would like like a confident in her salvation, her worth, and the love around her. I would not be worried about what others think of me, and I would always remember that I am a beloved child of God, even when my actions are not in line with that truth. I would be calmer and able to rest without feeling like I am failing at multiple facets of life.