What's so terrible about should? For three years of Tuesday afternoons I facilitated an art-based recreation therapy group for a combination inpatient outpatient psych unit. Typically I'd present a possible technique to use with pencils, markers, crayons, and watercolors the facility provided and I'd also suggest some topical idea. Houses, feelings, abstracts, animals, landscapes, etc. At some point during my first ever session, I told the group something relatively innocuous such as "you should aim for at least three different colors in your artistic composition." When staff evaluated me afterwards, they gave me a flurry of praise with a single negative observation: please do not lay shoulds on these people! Many of them are here with a major breakdown because of expectations and demands others have voiced toward them. Instantly I got what they said; ever since then, I've been at least as allergic to "should" as I am to writing with unnecessary passive voice contractions. But given that it's cinco de mayo, I'll mention you really should aim to enjoy comida mexicana some time during the day. I knew I really should illustrate this post with cinco de mayo related art, so header image is my cinco de mayo taco group from a few years ago.
Definitely! One should plan some comida Mexicana...for ALL THREE MEALS!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLoved this post, Leah. Had to be caregiver for a family member with bipolar when I was very young...learned real quick that there are no 'shoulds' allowed there!
#1 at FMF this week.
http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/05/your-dying-spouse-306-but-i-still-trust.html
You're making me hungry!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story. It's sobering to think about impact of the crushing weight of expectations.
Great post friend!
ReplyDeleteI agree, should is a dangerous word. Others' expectations can weigh us down so much, even when that is not their intention. Visiting from FMF#32.
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