Although our host Kate wrote lovely realities about her nurturing parents, and I can think of many situations and individuals who've helped nurture me, I still had to reflect on the "is it nature or nurture?" question that often pops up when we consider someone's traits and tendencies.
Because… I often tell anyone who's around me, "I'm exactly like my late uncle—everyone's BFF (Best Friend Forever)." Always reaching out. Always for the underdog (the undercat, too). Befriending the bedraggled. Being called a great listener. Hearing yet another person complimenting me on my hospitable presence. Needless to say, not having a shy or reticent bone in my body helps a whole lot.
A couple weeks ago I mentioned to someone I thought my life experiences had mightily contributed to those behaviors: cue long list of not great early influences and experiences, followed by too many struggles to fit in, to make myself heard, to rebuild and reweave. The person replied it still might be mainly nature, something I inherited through that side of the family.
But really? I never knew my uncle well, never spent much time around him or with him. I heard many anecdotes about him from my grandmother (his mother). At the time I considered stories of his rescuing people and rescuing pets, along with his empathy and sympathy simply the way he was. Not to admire or imitate. Plus, a certain subset of the population has that "everyone's BFF" trait or a parallel one.
Then we always can answer, "It's both nurture and nature."
As an adoptee, I’ve long considered the “nature or nurture” question and have come to the same conclusion that both influence who we become.
ReplyDeleteTimeless question. I grew up in what I consider a loving home, but that feeling is not shared by all three of my sisters, all of whom did grow up in that same home.
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